Saturday, December 15, 2012


its been awhile since I have been able to blog... I sure need it today.  Yesterday I heard the news of the shootings in Connecticut.  All I wanted to do was leave work and go pick up my sweet baby boy and hold him in my arms.  Just the thought of losing him and living one day without him is unimaginable to me and literally brings me to tears.  This was just another reminder of how precious life is and how I refuse to allow any type of petty negative drama take away from the life of myself and my precious kids.  I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be a mother and I will never take that for granted not for one second.

One thing I would like to discuss is depression and anxiety... That gunman had to have gone through something to make him feel as if his actions were justified in some unimaginable way.  I wish so badly he would have reached out in someway to get help.  This world is a messed up crazy out of control life... but for anyone who has suffered with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts,  or addiction PLEASE know that I know how serious this is and I have walked that path and still struggle daily with these obstacles.  BUT there is HELP and there is HOPE... YOU are in control of your life to a certain extent.  There are people who care and want to help.  So many people get to a point of desperate loneliness and sadness that they just cant climb out of alone. I have been there I know how that feels and it is a gut wrenching overwhelming feeling of pure hopelessness. If you know of anyone who is struggling with this.. be kind, be understanding, and just love and support as much as you can even if you cant possibly find the compassion to understand it just try please.  Your kindness and support could save lives!

This is why  I am slowly thinking of changing my career path and and specializing in addiction as well as family/crisis counseling.  I have walked in places that so many people have no clue about (although it will all be a TV soon lol)  I want to share my story as well as help others grow stronger because of the struggles they face and not let them break them down.  Although I will say it is perfectly ok and healthy to let yourself feel that anger and pain, but don't let it break you, turn it into something positive, let it teach you and motivate you.  It is a lot easier said then done this I know. 

My prayers and Thoughts are with those families who's lives were turned upside down yesterday.