Sunday, July 27, 2014

A wild journey

Hi friends! So it has once again been a long time since I have blogged and wow
Do I miss it.
I happened to be going through old blog post the other day and I literally couldn't stop reading them. Blogging is such an amazing thing for me. Not only is It very therapeutic and basically my online journal/venting sessions but it also Holds memories and moments of feelings that are amazing to look back on.  Looking back on the posts that I wrote before Landon and I chose to move to Florida and after coming home were really hard for me to read.. It's crazy to see the change and I just thought to  myself how the hell did this happen? How did things get so bad so fast?  I am so grateful for those post, I never want to forget those moments and times in my life.  They were heartbreaking and difficult but it is also a reminder that life goes on... It can get better.  Reading about how hard life was when I first had Ellie and the sleepless nights and exhaustion.. When I had no money in the bank, no job, broken arm and no car..  When I was pregnant and mom Was in the ICU and was septic, when I truly thought I might lose her that time... Those lowest points where I had started to Lose faith and truly did not know what the future held. Those are the moments I am so thankful for. Those moments are the ones that I look back on and I remember what I learned and how far the kids and I have grown and come.  We now have out own apartment which we have lived in for almost a year now, I have a job as a LPN that I truly love even though it can be rough at times I Remember how there was a time when I would have done anything in the world and taken any job just to be making money again, I always always try to remind Myself of how bad things were and to always be grateful. Something that I am beyond proud of and that has been one of My goals for years now  was to go back to school and finish my RN... Well I finally was able to find a way to do that and started school three weeks ago!!

School is kicking my little booty and it has been an adjustment for both the kids and I but we are making it and we will make it because we have God pulling us through as well as some amazing people rooting for us ! I want more then anything to get through school and finally be someone these kids can be proud of and provide for them the best I can... I get up at 6:30am everyday of the week and study hours at night when they go to bed and I work wknds all for them.. This truly is all for
Them... I can't fail these kids.

Our journey has been hard as hell during some chapters but it also has been filled with love and happiness.. I honestly wouldn't change anything. Everything we have fine through and will probably continue to go through we will get through as a team and a family.. We won't give up
Because we now know we can get through anything!  If anything I hope this post can teach you to hold on.. If you feel like you have lost all faith just hold On for a little Bit longer.. It will get better!