Just breathe

This has been a crazy week. I have come to a realization that God has a plan for me, HE will always provide for me and i need to let go of control and just have FAITH that everything will workout the way it is meant to be. I am so blessed in more ways than i even realize. I believe everything that you go through in life, even the mistakes and heartache, make you who you are meant to be.It has made my heart huge, it has given me EMPATHY for others ( to really feel someone elses pain and understand even if you havn't walked in there shoes.) & lots of strength.  It seems like lately everytime I get to that place where I just look to God and ask " what am I going to do!?" he has walked in and given me blessing's upon blessings.

Not to jump around but I have really been wanting to write about this because it is near and dear to my heart! It is coming to the end of may which is Cystic Fibrosis awareness month. When I was doing my pediatric clinical rotation for school I was always assigned to CF patients. We went over CF briefly in class but we didnt go in depth, to learn more about the disease and to help me be a better nurse I decided to "youtube" the words " life with Cystic Fibrosis". I came across a documentary by a young lady named Farrel.

The Video pulled at my heart strings and I contacted Farrel via facebook. After many chats, I truley consider Farrel a friend, she has a huge heart and is a fighter in more ways than one! Here is the difinition of CF from CFF.org -
 Cystic fibrosis is an inherited chronic disease that affects the lungs and digestive system of about 30,000 children and adults in the United States (70,000 worldwide). A defective gene and its protein product cause the body to produce unusually thick, sticky mucus that:

• clogs the lungs and leads to life-threatening lung infections; and
• obstructs the pancreas and stops natural enzymes from helping the body break down and absorb food.
• 
  
• Statistics
  • About 1,000 new cases of cystic fibrosis are diagnosed each year.
  • More than 45% of the CF patient population is age 18 or older.
  • The predicted median age of survival for a person with CF is in the mid-30s.

 You know how some people want to grow up and find the cure for cancer? or become a doctor? Well for me I have finally realized where my heart is, and that is taking care of these patients and helping find  a cure in any way I can. I have come in contact with a few other CFers, one who has been on an amazing journey and is another friend of mine is miss Addie. Addie just underwent a double lung transplant at the age of 25. Can you imagine needing a double lung transplant during the prime of your life? To have to wait for someone else to pass away so you can have a second chance at life, and so you can just BREATHE.Addie is now living life to the fullest and she truly is grateful for her "angel wings" as she calls her new lungs. But she still will always have to keep those lungs healthy and with transplant there can be a whole new set of problems as well. But I will tell you Addie is a fighter and she is doing amazing, it is such an inspiration to see!

The struggles CFers have to go through on a day to day basis just to BREATHE is unbelievable to me. Just to give you an idea here is a list of medications that a CFer has to take daily to help keep there lungs healthy, and dont forget The VEST two times a day for 2-30 mins. The vest is a vest that vibrates and basically shakes the mucus off of the lungs and helps to break it up, this is usually done while doing a breathing treatment. Can you imagine the time it takes day to day......
 Albuterol 2x/day 
Pulmicort 2x/day 
Pulmozyme 2x/day 
Cayston 3x/day (one month on/one off) 
TOBI 2x/day (one month on/one off) 
Symbicort 2x/day 
Flonase 2x/day 
Creon w/food 
Arixtra 1x/day 
AquADEKS 2x/day 
Singulair 1x/day 
Prednisone 1x/day 
Nexium 2x/day 
Iron 3x/day 
Zithromax - MWF 
Magnesium 2x/day 
Senna 1x/day 
Colace 1x/day 
Vitamin C 1x/day 
Allegra 2x/day 
Novolog insulin w/carbs 
Lantus insulin 1x/day 
The Vest 2-3x/day 
OsCal Ultra 2x/day 

I have truly found my passion and I cant wait to become a nurse and  specialize in CF, but hopefully by then we will have a cure and every CFer will finally know waht its like to "Breathe Easy" . To learn more about CF and what you can do to help find a cure go to www.cff.org. Thanks xoxo Katherine

New soul

You know those sayings like ” I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him” or ” Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” or ” You can’t trust anyone”  etc.  Have you ever lived those sayings? I would love to say that I haven’t but I have. It’s a tad bit exhausting… I’m starting to get to that place in life that our parents talk about when we’re kids. The place where we figure out who our real friends are. You know, the kind of friends that drive an hour to bring you tea if you’re sick. Or the friend that you know you’re gonna call when you discover your first grey hair. The one you cry with and laugh with and yell at. All of the above and more.  It is sincerely hard to find friends like that but I can honestly say that I can count mine on one hand. To live life with someone is a big deal. They see the best and worst sides of you. and I mean the WORST sides of you. Not the pretty ones where you cry in front of the mirror to make sure you still look good when they’re trying to console you.. The sides where you’re so broken that a mirror is the least of your worries…The running mascara/puffy cheeks from crying side . The hung over/guilty/immature side. The over emotional/get out of my face/I hate you side. It is rare to find a friend that will stick with you through those ugly times. I know that my family will always be there for me.but its always good to have someone outside of that circle. and I’ve narrowed my number down to a couple. It was hard because I found myself saying ” Well, I think this person would probably maybe stop what they’re doing to help me if my car broke down… if they were less than 10 minutes away..and I gave them gas money…and apologized the whole way home… and maybe i’d buy them dinner to say thank you.”  Nope. The thought should have been ” This person would pick me up if my car broke down.” Bam. Solid thought. No expectations or apologies. ( even though I would still apologize because I apologize about everything. And pay for gas too….but that’s beside the point.)  Find out who your true friends are. However old you are. Peer pressure is a real thing at any age. I’m  22 and still go through it. A real friend cares about you. Your heart. Your mind and your soul. They don’t make fun of your beliefs even if they believe something different. They respect you and the decisions you make but will still make sure they tell you their thoughts on them. They pick you up if you are completely stranded, even if they are on a date. They don’t expect anything from you. They will always tell you the truth. Don’t get lost in pleasing other people. I will tell you from experience that it gets you nowhere. You run in what i call ” The Pleasing People Circle”. It’s a never ending unhappy circle. You are never satisfied. You can never leave the circle because it feels like if you stop running in it everyone will end up hating you. Like a wheel,  you’re the rat in the cage, running and running and running while the world looks in and just smiles. You don’t want it. I promise you. Stop running the wheel. The circle. The person with the painted smile… Find the ones that love you for who you are and accept your family because they last longer than anything else. Enjoy life. It’s too short to flip about the small things. I love you…whoever you are. xoxo