Sunday, June 3, 2012

Our BIG move !

     of course I am up at 2am writing  a blog :/ I have had some serious sleeping issues lately.  When I can finally fall asleep I end up waking up from crazy weird dreams and then it takes me forever to get back to sleep again.  I basically just cant seem to shut my mind off these days.  As I'm sure everyone by now knows, Landon and I have finally decided to take  a leap of faith and move our life to Florida!!!  This decision has been weighing on my mind for months now.  I went back and forth through every reason why not to move and then every reason why we should move over and over and over and over.  As a mother this was a very difficult decision for me to make because not only am i changing my life, I am changing Landon's as well.  I am not someone that handles change well at all... many of my close friends always joke about how I never leave my "bubble" which I cant argue with that one.  I love my comfort zone and due to having panic attacks and severe anxiety it is very very hard for me to break out of the safe feeling or comfort zone to embark on something new.  Going through this whole process of deciding what Landon and I should do and what would be best for us right now as well as our future I have learned so much already about myself.  I have learned that you never really find yourself until you leave your comfort zone.   I am very excited for our future with an amazing man who I am so in love with and I grow to love more and more every single day of my life, I am excited for Landon to now have the chance to go to school and meet new friends, i am more than excited to be able to go back to school and hopefully i can meet new a great people as well.  

     Tonight  at Sunday dinner I got a little emotional thinking that Landon and I wont have this anymore... that little bit of family that we have through the Burgiss's is so comforting and something I never had growing up, the family sit down dinners and us girls on the couch watching our Sunday night TV shows.  I am so going to miss it!!  Don't get me wrong, Jesse has an amazing family in Florida, and I am just hoping that people will grow to love Landon as much as we all do here and that he will gain more relationships with some amazing people.  At the end of the day all I want is for my little boy to be happy, I want him to always always feel loved and feel safe. 

    Even though right now I  am a ball of emotions I am still excited for what the future holds and will go into this with a positive attitude.  I know that it will be a huge adjustment for all of us and there will be a few months of being homesick and anxious but I'm praying that I can work through all of that and stay strong for Landon and Jesse.  I want us to all be together and I want us to work, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen and I know Jess is too.  Landon is so excited he talks about it everyday!  I plan on keeping Landon on a very strict schedule when we get there and start him in his new school part time until i start school.  I want to give him time to get used to going to school again as well as ease me into it because I'm sure going to miss my boy all day :(  I also have decided I want to keep a video diary or VLOG as well as keep up with this daily or as much as possible.  I think that would be a fun way to keep everyone at home who is interested in staying in touch with us and watching us grow as a family.  You will be able to see Landon grow, learn and adapt as well as an insight into our little world, the bad and the good.  This is huge journey we are about to embark on as well as a fresh new start that I would love to share with everyone we love!


  1. " I have learned that you never really find yourself until you leave your comfort zone."

    You said it best girl...And Lord knows I know how true that statement is! You will miss home sometimes but as your happiness with Jesse grows, it will fade. The saying "Home is where your heart is" is absolutely true. And when your heart lies with a person your definition of home changes.

    You can do this. You can be happier than you've ever thought possible. Just let go of the worry, turn it over to God & trust your instincts. The insomnia will disappear then too :)

  2. Thank you so much linds! I feel like you always totally get me! Great advice I might need you to repeat to me a few times lol

  3. I can do that. Any time you need me to! And I feel like I do get you...I'm pretty sure you're the younger version of my neurotic self hahaha!!

    BTW, I mean that last part in the nicest way possible lmao :)