Saturday, September 8, 2012

Self control and self worth

Whew so today has been a rough one! I always seem to be in a blogging mood Wheb I need to vent or explore my feelings in a way. So I am still reading that book I blogged about called "unglued" and boy has it helped me in more way then I ever could have imagined!! I have learned a big lesson this week and that is: I can't control the words or actions people say to me but I can control my reactions towards them. I will give you a couple of raw and honest examples that have happened recently in my life where I have had to dig deep into my heart and pray like crazy for strength to control my reactions. First I got into a serious discussion with someone that i dearly loved and the discussion went into a direction that the other person just could not possibly agree with or understand and when pressuring them to pray to God for guidance and to please do the right thing for their family they got upset to a point where nasty disgraceful words were said to me. Words such as "you are a lazy ass who sits on her ass all day watching tv" "you are nothing you live at home with mommy and daddy!" "I regret ever knowing you!" as listened to these heart breaking words being said to me by someone I once loved and trusted literally took my breath away. I was lost for words and had to literally ball up and cry while my momma just held me telling me I'm loved and it will be ok. The shock wore off and I felt this nasty rage inside me boiling up! I wanted to cry,scream, and hit or do whatever I could to hurt this person for hurting me. But I sat down I prayed like crazy to God askin him please give me strength and love in my heart to let this go and to not sink down to thAt disgraceful level. I took a deep create looked at my precious little boy and and remembered how I would want him to handle a situation as I was in and I wrote back to this person tellin then how hurt abd angry I was and how my heart was shattered by the words they chose I say to me, but tat I would pray for them to find peace with God and their actions and that no matter how hurt I was I would not come back with hurtful words. I'm still devastated but feel good knowing I am not the obe sitting here with regret and guilt in my heart. We can't control others all we can do, but we can control how we respond. Im working on this every single day of my life. I want to be a good person who loves and is loyal and selfless. I refuse to surround myself with abyone who speaks to me like that.

Everyday we run into rude nasty ppl, people who dobt say thank you When you hold the door for them, or people who cut you off on the highway, but at the end of the day everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Just kill them with kindness and be very gentle with your words.. Words can kill, your words could be that last straw for someone or your love abd kindness or a simple how are you, I'm thinking of you could possibly be that one uplifting moment they needed! :)

I encourage everyone struggling with heartbreak, anger, or anxiety to please read the book "unglued" it will honestly change your life and the way you deal and cope everyday

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