just a little vent...

so landon lee is knocked out after watching sponge bob for the millionth time today & cynthia and i are sitting here waiting for CSI and the Jeresey Shore at 10!...... so im jamming out to Justin Biebers new song " born to be somebody" and seriously it is amazing!! i swear i have come down w. bieber fever after seeing his movie on sunday... it was so inspirational, and was even a tear jerker.. i was shocked and not expecting it at all.... what a "rags to riches" story it was!.... anyways....so iv battle depression on and off for YEARS now and there are days where i feel like i have NO life besides school, study, cleaning, laundry, and ofcourse playing with landon lee, but i forget im only 22 years old and start to really get down and think wow i should have already had a BSN by now and a career and will i ever get married? am i going to be alone and single for the rest of my life? I very rarely go out, esp to the bars and all that its just not my scene and i have a tendency to stay in my little bubble, i truley love being home with landon lee and just hanging out watching movies, thats where im content..... but theres days where i feel like im missing out esp. living w. cynthia and watching her live your average 23 yr olds life partying, boyfriends, and all that good stuff... but deep down  i know im really not missing out i mean im so blessed, and im working hard to get through school even though its taking me longer because i have to go at night atleast im trying right?  I may not have a thousand friends or tons of guys lining up to date me ... but what i do have is an amazing, smart, healthy, handsome, little boy and i have the gift of being his momma, i also have some really amazing friends like miss jamie who i dont know what i would do w.out i mean i seriously call or txt her a thousand times a day just for her opinion on things or just to vent  she is like my big sister and i love her for that... then theres cynthia who i fight like crazy w. but we love like sisters and she loves my son as if he was her own... i really couldnt ask for more.  BUT i  just gota give myself a little pep talk somedays and just know i have so many goals like becoming a nurse practitionor and it seems so far away right now... but i think... i know if i keep working as hard as i work now and always stay focused on the fact that this is ALL for landon... then i will get there... i wont settle for anything less! i just hate feeling like im in  a rut and i wish i could fastforwad and just be where i want in life... but ill get there soon enough.......