So i came across a blog that was written by a beautiful mother with an amazing home a loving husband and a strong Christian faith with two beautiful healthy little girls. Yet she wrote a raw and honest blog entry about how she feels so out of control some days and how she has lashed out and lost her temper on her children and husband. She speaks of disappointment in herself for losing that control. I honestly can relate to this so much! Not only with Landon but with many people in my life I have lost my temper and control. I am a very strong willed, control freak person who needs structure and organization in my life. But when you have a child or two that structure is thrown out the window pretty fast and your patience and strength is tested every single day. The whining, the temper tantrums, the messes, the endless amounts of laundry, the financial stresses, the losing yourself all of these factors feed into my day where I just BREAK or become UNGLUED. Going through these day to day struggles I have learned that very few people understand and are capable of having compassion and will be very quick to judge a mother for getting upset or losing patients. The blog I read offered a book by a Christian writer called "UNGLUED". She stated that this book has really helped her cope and not lash out at loved ones. I have already started reading the book and can relate to every single word written so far. A few excerpts that hit straight home for me are as follows:
"I have to figure this out. What is my problem? Why cant i seem to control my reactions? I stuff. I explode. And I don't know how to get a handle on this, but God help me if I don't get a handle on this I will destroy the relationships I value the most...."
" I know what its like to praise God one minute and in the next scream and yell at my child- and then feel both the burden of my destructive behavior and the shame of my powerlessness to stop it."
I can totally relate to that feeling... I am sure we all can relate to being on the other end of the spectrum as well. Being yelled at or feeling that horrible gut wrenching feeling of disrespect and hurt makes me want to hurt that person even more than they hurt me. This book teaches us women how to manage the hormones and emotions. How to "Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between. Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control". I know these are lessons I need and I am sure I am not standing here alone. I also need to learn how to deal with the difficult people in my life that continue to let me down, or that I just cant see eye to eye with. I think this book will be great strength and hope for me... I just wanted to share it with you guys and if anyone else chooses to read it I would love to hear your thoughts!